The last few years of my mother's life, we all made a point of gathering and spending special times with her. In the photo below, Alitza is seated with her at her apartment on Mound Avenue in Cedar Rapids.
Mom always hated that she had her eyes closed for some of her photos...and here she does have them closed! But, it is a nice photo in any case. As you may be able to tell, the photo is a 'cut-out' of the two of them that has been inserted into a photo album in a collage of pictures.
On May 23, 1994 my mother Wilma celebrated her 95th birthday. We had a special party for her at the home of my sister, Jean Barrett Cooper Brown. Below is a group photo of all of her daughters at that event.
Left to right: (almost out of the photo...) Carol, Dorothy Ann, Jean, Wilma, Merry and Margaret.
In this photo, Wilma is pictured with her sons-in-law, Jack Brown on the left, and Bob Kelley on the right.
In this photo, everyone at the party raised a toast to Wilma, and she raises her glass right back!
Getting ready to enjoy a piece of that pretty birthday cake!
Here is the 'birthday girl' standing next to a watercolor painting I did for Jean's condo. (I now have that painting above my bed in our home.) As you can see, my mother was in good health at this point in her life - quite a statement for the age of 95!
We had been enjoying Easter
dinners as guests of Merry and Bob Kelley at their country club in
Lisbon, Iowa, and in 1995, we gathered again for that occasion. In the
photo above, from left to right - Carol (me), George Thiher (my sister
Dorothy's husband), Jack Brown (my sister Jean's husband), Bob Kelley
(my sister Merry's husband), Wilma at the head of the table, Merry,
Dorothy Ann, and Alitza. We always had a good time at these gatherings!
I think this was Mother's Day in 1995, and we celebrated it at the home of Merry and Bob Kelley. In this photo, my mom is seated in the living area of the beautiful motor home owned by Merry and Bob. Next to her on the couch (nearly out of the photo) is my sister Jean, and her husband Jack is at the driver's seat, checking out all the cool equipment.
This photo of my mother was taken at the home of Dorothy Ann and George Thiher on the occasion of her 96th birthday, which was May 23, 1995.
Here is Wilma once again, the day of her 96th birthday, at the home, seated next to her eldest daughter, Dorothy Ann, and Dorothy's husband, George.
Here, at the home of Dorothy Ann and George Thiher, on the occasion of her 96th birthday, is my mother, Bob Kelley, and her daughter, Merry Kelley.
Once again, in 1996, the family gathered for Easter dinner at Lisbon Country Club. In this photo, you can see the back of our daughter, Alitza. Across the table from her, left to right, are George Thiher, Dorothy Ann, Wilma, Jean and Jack Brown, Merry and Bob Kelley.
Here is a more inclusive view of the family gathered for Easter dinner at Lisbon Country Club. On the left is David Rueber, and across from him are Dave Hansen, Carol Hansen, and Alitza. At the adjoining table are George Thiher, Dorothy Ann behind him, Wilma, Jean, Jack, Merry and Bob.
Yet another view of our family gathering for Easter dinner. In front with their backs to the camera are Merry, Jack, Jean and Wilma. Across from them, left to right are Alitza, Carol and Dave Hansen, with George across the table from those folks.
Here, at the 1996 Easter Buffet at Lisbon Country Club, are Wilma with Carol and Dave Hansen joining her. Wilma was nearly 97 at the time of this photo.
In the fall of 1997, it was decided that Wilma could no longer continue living on her own in her apartment. She was moved to Garnet Place Assisted Living and had a nice apartment there. But, after a fall about six months after this move, her daughters made the decision to enter her into a nursing home where she could receive more constant care. At the age of 98, she was moved to Northbrook Manor in Cedar Rapids, and lived there for several years.
Here is Wilma in 1997, at the Lisbon Country Club for our annual Easter gathering. She often wore pink, and even had an article in her church's bulletin, which described her as 'pretty in pink.' She was nearly 98 years old in this photo. We often took our mom out for family gatherings, and this was one time when she was able to come with us to the dinner at Lisbon C.C.
This may have been on Mother's Day in 1998, at the condo of Jean and Jack Brown. Shown in this photo are Bob Kelley, Wilma, and her daughter, Jean.
In this photo taken on her 99th birthday, her age is beginning to be more evident, but she is still wearing her usual smile. My mom was always a kind-hearted, and cheerful person, even as the problems of aging begin to affect her. This would have been around May 23, 1998.
In this photo, my brother-in-law, Al Brookner is giving Wilma a big hug on the celebration of her 99th birthday.
The pretty birthday cake...
During the autumn of her 99th year, niece Janey came to Iowa for a visit, and in this photo, her daughter Brianna is giving Great-Grandma Cooper a big hug. My mother seems to be enjoying it!
And...her is Janey's son Ryan giving his great-grandmother a nice hug. Wilma really enjoyed those hugs!
Another occasion, this time at the home of Merry and Bob, here is Wilma with daughter Merry.
For her 100th birthday, May 23, 1999, we had another party. The gathering took place at the home of Dorothy Ann and George. In the photo above is Wilma, surrounded by three of her daughters - Merry, Jean and Margaret.
In this photo during a toast to her long life, Wilma waves at the camera, and is joined in the photo by Merry, Jean and Margaret.
As is evident in this photo on her 100th birthday, Wilma's age is becoming an issue with her health. But, she remained pretty cognizant, although at times she did a bit of 'time-traveling.' Once when I was visiting her at the nursing home, I asked her what she had been doing, and she replied, "Well, I took the train to Sac City, and I think I left my sweater at the depot." Her comments at the nursing home often made us laugh, and we could see that her sense of humor and intelligence was still there...somewhere. One time when one of my sisters was wheeling her through several hallways to have her hair fixed at the nursing home's beauty shop, she remarked, "This is a regular labyrinth!" On another occasion, she made some small mistake, and said, "Mark up another one for Cooper!"
Also visiting for her 100th birthday was the son of her only brother Herbert. This is Herbert Barrett, Jr. and he came from the Brainerd/Mil Lacs area of Minnesota to attend her birthday. Herbert is the brother of Marilyn in the photo above. They were the children of Herbert Eugene Barrett and Crystel Christensen Barrett. (Herbert is also now deceased.)
At Christmas time in 2000, Wilma received a new winter coat. In this photo, she is modeling her pretty coat.
Wilma's Northbrook Manorisms
We loved our mother's continual ability to connect with us through her funny comments. One time Mother scooted her wheelchair to the room next door where another woman stayed. The nursing home discouraged these visits because the woman didn't want to be disturbed. My mother remarked, "They say she is nuts...that is why we are all here!"
On another occasion when one of us girls mentioned that the wallpaper in the lounge area was sure lively, Mother said, "Yes, it is. It's the only lively thing here!"
One time Jean and Merry went to a consultation about Mother's care. The social worker asked her if there was anything she needed, and she replied, "I'm the sort of person who likes to think about it for awhile before she makes a decision."
Some of her 'incidents' at the nursing home were a bit worrying. On one occasion, an aide was helping her get into her nightgown and she kicked the woman. Knowing my mother, even in her reduced state of personality, she was not a mean person. We decided that maybe the gal was being a big rough with her, and she retaliated. Since I had been the one she told about this event, I reported it to the head nurse, saying I didn't want to get anyone into trouble, but that maybe the person should be observed while attending to my mother. (The next time I saw that aide, she was working in another part of the nursing home. Never be concerned about reporting incidents that seem a bit 'off.' Your relative may need a spokesperson.) Another time, an aide was attempting to take out Mother's partial dental plate, and she got bitten. A note to nursing home workers: Just because someone is in the nursing home, don't assume they don't know what is going on. It would be wise, and to your own benefit to realize that just because these people are elderly and often don't make a lot of sense, they are not yet 'gone' and should be treated the same way your would want to be treated. Don't be brusque or hasty with them. Explain what you are going to do, and be gentle. They have little time left on this earth, and their time should not be unduly stressful.
On Tuesday, July 11, 2000, Wilma died. She was 101 years of age on May 23, 2000. Many family members gathered for her funeral at Cedar Memorial Funeral Home. She was buried next to our father, Robert Wayne Cooper, and next to her granddaughter, Bonnie Ray Burns Picard.
Above is the obituary I wrote up and published in the Kanawha Reporter newspaper, where I was the office manager.
The obituary above appeared in the Cedar Rapids Gazette.
In this photo, family members are gathered at the chapel where the funeral service was held. Family members shown in the photo are listed below the photo.
Here is another shot of family members gathering outside the funeral chapel. Left to right - Dave Herman (great-grandson), Michael Herman (grandson), Sara Herman (great-granddaughter), Jim Herman (grandson), Janey Brown Giles (now Lambert) - (granddaughter), and Jill Brown LaForge (granddaughter).
Pictured at the top of this collage are Jill Brown LaForge (granddaughter), Jean Brown (daughter) and Julie Brookner Holt (granddaughter). On the left is Susan Brookner Hood, with Julie Brookner Holt in the center. Both of these women were Wilma's granddaughters. On the right is Margaret Cooper Brookner, a daughter of Wilma. At the bottom, those in the photograph are listed - Janey (Brown Giles Lambert), Alitza Rueber, Jeff Brookner, Steven Brookner, Jill Brown LaForge (hidden), Jean Brown, and Julie Brookner Holt.
In the photo collage above are the daughters and grandchildren of Wilma Venette Cooper. One granddaughter was not able to attend, and that was Diane Jean Hansen-Johnson of Phoenix, AZ. Names of the children and grandchildren who were able to attend are listed below the photos, or on the photos.
This is a page from the scrapbook I made about my mother's life. She always tried to be cheerful, and was a very loving person. Personally, I think my mother influenced me to be a caring, kind-hearted person, and I value those gifts from her. She was a true 'lady!' and will be forever missed.
In a letter received by her oldest daughter, Dorothy Ann, from her family physician (Dr. Thomas Schroeder, M.D.) after her death, he said, "I am sorry for the great loss that you are having with the passing of your mother. I know that Wilma's general condition had markedly deteriorated. I am relieved that she is suffering no more. I enjoyed having Wilma as a patient. She was always a delightful lady. I am sure she was a very good mother..... Please give (your sisters) the same condolences. If I can be of any help, please feel free to call."
I think this tribute we gave to our mother through radio station KGAN, Channel 2 television station - "Mom of the Moment" - tells of our devotion and love as well as anything we could say here.
Wilma was chosen in May of 1982 to be one of 12 women chosen as "Mom of the Moment" by Channel 2, KGAN-TV, 'symbolizing the loving, caring, wonderful things that Moms say and do to be so Special. (Each of us daughters submitted comments about Wilma that helped them choose her for this honor. The tributes were read on KGAN-TV, Channel 2, on Mother's Day, Sunday, May 9th, 1982.
Here are the things we wrote about our beloved mother:
Dorothy Ann Cooper Herman Thiher ~ "My eighty-three year old mother is a religious, beautiful, sharp lady who has been a good example for her five daughters. I love her."
Jean Barrett Cooper Brown ~ "A tribute to my mother - Wilma Cooper. Mother at 83 is an independent lady. She sews, bakes, drives, gardens, manages her finances, quotes Shakespeare, and has a great sense of humor."
Merry Janet Cooper Burns Goldberg Kelley ~ "Guiness Records category: Truly Outstanding Mother, Record-Holder: Wilma Cooper, 83. Unmatched for glowing faith, strength during adversity, intelligence, kindness, unselfish caring for others."
Margaret May Cooper Brookner ~ "She is the best mother because: At age 83, she cooks, keeps house, gardens, sews, drives a car, is deacon in her church, but mostly, she's fun to be with, no matter what age you are."
Carol Lynn Cooper Hansen Rueber ~ "She is strong, yet gentle; she sees beyond error to dwell on good; her hand still reaches out with firm support when needed... Mother...friend."
To sum up our mother's life and her demise, these words leave us with a sense of her being and give us comfort on her loss:
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
~ Author Unknown
Submitted by Wilma's niece Bettye Wells, at the time of our father Wayne's death.
Come on back to find out more about my family, my heritage and my own life, on posts to come...
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