Post One - The Reverend Homer Larsen....a side tale or two about a famous Iowa man...

This week a 'great' man died. The man was Homer Larsen, former pastor at Nazareth Lutheran Church in Cedar Falls. I have a couple of stories to tell you about him...

The first time I met Homer Larsen was shortly after I was married to Vern Hansen, and we had moved into one of the quonset huts in 'Sunset Village,' the married student housing complex just south of the University of Northern Iowa campus (at that time, it was called Iowa State Teachers College, and I had begun studies there to get my teaching certificate). 

Pastor Larsen came to call at our humble little round-roofed home, and it was about 3 in the afternoon. At that time, I was just learning how to cook real food, and had begun to brown a pot roast which I had hoped so serve that evening for dinner. Well, just after I put the roast in to brown, a knock came at our door, and it was Homer Larsen, here to welcome me to 'Lutheran Land.' I invited him in...and was too shy to explain that it was not a good time since I was starting to cook a pot roast, and really had little idea as to how to do that...

So, he came in, sat on our couch, and began to talk to me. I really don't remember much of what he said, because I was hoping he would soon get up to leave since I could smell my roast cooking on the top of the stove. Luckily I did not have the heat turned up very high, so the roast didn't cause a fire...but it was definitely 'browning!' Well, long story short, Homer talked and talked, and I nodded and nodded...too new at this hostess-business to tell him that I needed to check the meat that was cooking on the stove. Eventually he did leave, but my roast had seen its better days. There was a hard, dark brown crust about 1/4 inch thick on the bottom of this piece of meat (and in those days, we were on a very tight budget, so buying a piece of meat that was not hamburger was a splurge that didn't happen often). The roast was too 'well-done' to taste good, even if I cut off the offending crust! When Vern got home from work, I told him what had happened, and if memory serves me, we got in the car and went to 'Henry's Hamburgers' and got our dinner. (Henry's Hamburgers was the precursor to McDonald's and they had good fries and cardboard-like hamburgers...) In any case, that was my first meeting with Homer Larsen, and it really did not go the way I'm sure he had planned, but I don't think he realized how badly it went. I never did tell him...

I liked Homer Larsen, most of the time. He was a cheerful, friendly man and gave very good sermons. I didn't especially like that he never danced with his wife, since in Maine where he grew up, his church was against dancing. Holy Cow! I am not an intentional sinner, but I love to dance (or did before my legs and feet started going 'bad' on me...) I believe in being as good as I can, but if a guy can't hold a woman in his arms during a dance without becoming overwrought, well I just think I really am not interested in that kind of fellow. It would be a constant battle trying to keep him at his distance...no thanks! Passion is one thing, but I have no need for a drooling, sex-maniac escorting me.

I made an effort to consult with Homer Larsen when Vern and I were going through the estrangement that preceded our divorce. I told him about Vern's 'wandering' eye, and that he had more time for golf and football than he had being a companion to me. Well, good ole' Homer, Christian soul that he was, told me that 'men are like that,' and that I should make more of an effort to be attractive to him, like getting 'cleaned up' before he got home from work, and meeting him at the door with a smile and a hug. (Holy Shit! Shades of 'Fried Green Tomatoes!') I think Homer Larsen was a good man, and had a bucket full of talent as a preacher and speaker. However, dealing with modern day male/female issues, he lacked sorely. I left that meeting feeling like our problems were all my fault, and I knew they were not. Besides, obviously he had little understanding of meal-preparation. I suppose Eunice did all the cooking (until those later years after she became ill, and he took care of her...maybe he better understood the need for careful watching when a meal is being prepared, especially for the first time...) I simply cannot imagine, with three children ages 7 to 14, one would have time and/or patience to get all dolled up and come to the door to welcome a often emotionally-distant man into his home 'after a long day's work.' What the hell did he think I did all day? He might have soothed my agony at the break-up of my marriage by suggesting that Vern take me out for a meal now and then....or at least one some kind of date without children in tow. But...I know that would not have helped at that stage....way too late....too much irreparable damage done.

I do hope that Homer Larsen became more adept at counseling than he was when I met with him. I'm sure some more 'sheep-like' women were helped by him. Unfortunately, I am anything but 'sheeplike.' I've become Helen Reddy, and I sing 'I Am Woman' all the damned time! I think Homer met more than he knew how to handle when he met me. I simply did not stay in the shy, silent, submissive shell that I wore when he first met me. Not who I AM!

(So, dear Blogspot, now you know... I salute Homer Larsen as he moved to the next realm, but I knew he had shortcomings. I hope whoever is standing there at the 'pearly gates' knows them too, and will still let him in. He did not intend to be dismissive or 'sexist' but he was...and it hurt me.)

Just a small aside... it is the exact same kind of 'certainty' about the ideas of some so-called Christian people that have made me less of a religious person. Most of the 'holier-than-thou' attitudes I have experienced in my life have come from members of a church (excepting my own mother who was as much a true Christian as one could want to know...) I have met some really wonderful people who call themselves 'Christian,' but I've also known many who call themselves that but behave in ways that tell me they are mistaken. In my book, being a 'Christian' is more about how you treat your fellow man than it is about how often you attend church, how much you put in the offering basket or how 'superior' you are to the guy next to you. Here, I'm going to quote Mahatma Ghandi who said, 'I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians.' Until those who profess to be 'christian' act like they believe what they say, I don't have a lot of time for organized religion...

More later...on a lighter and different subject, I'm sure!