And....then things got very real...

After classes were over for the summer, I moved back to Cedar Rapids to live with my sister Merry and her daughter Bonnie (they lived for a few years in the upstairs of my folks' home, after Merry's divorce and until she married her second husband, Merrel Goldberg). At that time, Merry was working at Collins Radio (a job that my brother-in-law, Al, had got for her). Bonnie was about 10 years old at that time.

About this time, my brother-in-law, Jimmy Herman, died suddenly of a heart attack. I was quite attached to him, and his death was a blow that left me feeling even more unsettled. I suppose seeing my close family affected by this death made me even more anxious to get my adult life going...

In early June, my parents went up to their cabin in Minnesota for the summer, and I had a job working at Collins Radio as well, to earn money for my next year at school. 

Vern came to visit one weekend. That was a critical weekend in my life because I think I got pregnant with our oldest son then. Of course, I didn't realize that fact until a few weeks had gone by, but when I did recognize my symptoms, I told Vern, and we decided we needed to have a talk with his folks. I went to Cedar Falls, and we had a very serious talk with them...terribly uncomfortable situation, you can be sure. But, we all agreed that Vern and I should get married. (Back then, many girls got married under such circumstances, so it was not awfully surprising. If I am correct, the birth control pill was just barely known at that time so pregnancy was quite a factor socially.) I never even considered not marrying Vern. It just was not on my radar at all. I simply assumed that was my only choice, and it was not such a horrible idea to me. I loved little kids, and had no real hunger to be out in the work world, so becoming a stay-at-home mom seemed the right thing to do. I actually liked the idea, and began planning a very modest wedding for a few friends and relatives. I called my parents, and they came home from the lake to be there for the wedding. 

The next time Vern came to visit me, my 'hilarious' sister asked me if she should get out the 'shotgun.' Her comment was funny, but in a way I felt a bit shabby over it...in my dreams as a teenager, it had never occurred to me that I would 'have' to get married...

I got a strange phone call just before my wedding to Vern. It was from Byron Roschke, the boy I liked when I was a junior in high school. I told him I was about to be married, and that was the end of that...

This is a photo from my wedding to Vern. On the far left is my father. My mother is walking to the left of Vern who is carrying the boxes my bouquet and the corsages and boutonnieres came in. In front of Vern is his nephew Tommy Hansen, and there I am in the middle with the pink dress I made for myself, and the little crown I made out of wire and covered with velvet cording and then attached the netting to it. Behind me is Ronnie Olsen, the guy from my college class who had suggested that Vern call me for a date. I'm not sure who is next to him partially seen, but the guy in front is another of Vern's fraternity brothers, Paul 'somebody.' The girl on the far right is probably Vern's niece, Beth Hansen,  and in the background are some other fraternity brothers, and some members of my family. The wedding took place on July 30, 1960 at the Calvin Sinclair Presbyterian Church where my mother attended church.

I don't think we had even a reception, but Vern and I eventually went to a motel in Cedar Rapids for our wedding night. No honeymoon...not much of a celebration, but I was no longer 'an unwed mother-to-be.' 

My mother's biography tells about this time in the following way: "Merry had married Fred Burns when we lived on 17th Street in Cedar Rapids, but was divorced by the time we moved back. She and Bonnie lived with us for a couple of years. Then she married Merrel Goldberg.

"Carol went to UNI in Cedar Falls one year and then married Vern Hansen, and she went to live in Cedar Falls while Vern finished college." (Personally, I think the complicated lives of Merry and I were pretty hard on my mother. She was raised to believe that people stayed married unless there was a really horrible reason for them to separate. Merry's reason was pretty serious...Freddie's method of income was to travel around the country getting into gambling games. Sometimes they had money and a car, and other times he pawned her wedding jewelry. Also, Freddie had a serious mental illness - schizophrenia - and had difficulty staying in one place for very long. He suffered a break-down and was hospitalized for a time in a mental hospital. But, he did recover, and did try to work at a regular job in Cedar Rapids so that they could stay in one place, and so that Bonnie could attend school. But, he just was not able to do that for long, and Merry eventually realized that divorce was the only solution.) By this time in her long life, my mother was getting weary of documenting the details, so the end of her story is briefly written.  

I needed to continue working that summer to make money for our cash-poor family, and Vern also had to keep working, so he returned to Cedar Falls, and I stayed in Cedar Rapids. We did get together pretty often, but it was a sort of sad start to our relationship. 

I actually didn't last the full summer contract because I began to have pretty serious morning sickness, and was too ill to accomplish much at work. So, I quit my job and moved to Cedar Falls, where Vern and I were able to rent a quonset hut in the married student housing across from the college. Back in those days, pregnant girls were not welcome in classes, even if they were married, so I dropped out of college. It was too bad because I had to relinquish my tuition scholarship. But, we had a hard enough time paying for Vern's fees, let alone any idea of me continuing. 

But, as I said earlier, I have usually been a 'bloom where you are planted' person, and I undertook being a wife and expectant mother with a bit of pleasure. I decorated our little place, and did some sewing of maternity clothes for myself (got into our first fight over $16.00 worth of red and white checked gingham I bought to make myself a few tops...) Later that fall, my sisters in Cedar Rapids got together and put on a baby shower for us. Margaret had four kids and they had decided that was enough. Their youngest child had been born two years earlier, so she still had baby furniture and clothes to give to me, and the others got me some nice things that I was thrilled to receive. I was deep into an entirely new kind of life for me, and it was exciting with the anticipation of a new baby. 

Vern had a job working at the Cedar Falls Utilities (his dad worked there, and I'm sure that didn't hurt...and, he had a reputation as being a dependable young man as well). So, we settled into our new roles, as well as could be expected for a guy who was just 20 years old and a girl who was just 19. (I had my 20th birthday that winter.)

Our little boy, Doug, was born in March, and life was very busy for both of us. Vern took classes in the mornings and worked in the afternoons. I spent my days learning how to be a wife and mother, and I must admit, I was not all that great at it for awhile. But, I didn't make any 'fatal' mistakes, and I really did love being a mother...

I do not have the portraits of my kids when they were babies. When we divorced, I left them with Vern so the kids could have them eventually. But, I am now sad that I didn't get copies made of them. They were such cute kids, and I loved them all so much...

Living in Sunset Village, as the married student housing was called (it is no longer there...those buildings were all torn down and now there is parking and some university buildings where they once stood), was a culture all its own. Everyone there was in the 'same boat'....no money to spare, and kids to raise. I met and made friends with a gal who had been in my math class my freshman year at ISTC. Her name was Janet (Fisher) Barnes, and she had married Paul Barnes from Cedar Falls, and they had a little boy about the same age as Doug. Janet and I became good friends, and we still see each other several times a year. We have plenty of memories to talk about...

Sometime during the years since our life in Sunset Village, Iowa State Teachers College became University of Northern Iowa (UNI) which is its name at the present time. 

More to come...married life, more kids, and buying our first house...